PMI-VMA

A Quick and Dirty Dating Guide to Foreign Girls

Czech – These are the new “it” girls of Europe. They are all unconventionally hot. Czech porn is bookmarked in my browser. Czech girls love buying you things and they relish the sappy romantic phase of courtship. “Let’s take a walk under the moonlight” is a common refrain you’ll hear from her. Czech girls have embraced the feminist dogma of the West yet remain tied to the traditional dating mores of Eastern Europe which makes for a lot of hypocrisy. But that’s OK, because all you need to be is an oak tree for her to lean on through the storm of her emotions. The one Czech girl I was with was average in bed. Clearly, the American sense of entitlement had corrupted her after only a few months in the country.

Estonian – It has been said that the hottest girls in the world hail from Estonia’s capital Tallinn. I believe this is correct. My next trip abroad will be to Estonia. Like other European women, Estonians dress stylishly, are comfortable in their womanly skin, are naturally svelte, and love the company of men. They hate Russians so if you want to win points with her drop a casual anti-Russian remark about how you heard their women drive their men to drink and an early death. Most Estonian women are 9s and 10s with the approachability index of 6s and 7s, so when you find the rare one in DC you absolutely must go for it. They like to wear baby tees that accentuate their ample Baltic bosoms. Estonian women are so beautiful their 40 year olds are more fuckable than DC’s 25 year olds. If you are smart, spend the day with your Estonian lover being seen at your favorite pick up spots in the city. When she goes back to her country, she will leave you the parting gift of unbelievable social proof you can cash in for six months of American tail.

Finnish – If you think teasing is all part of the fun of flirting, you will not get along with a Finn. Joking banter that arouses an American girl will send a Finn rearing up with indignation at your effrontery. You will be left scratching your head at how someone could be so hypersensitive to your playful humor. I used to call my Finnish girl “finn-skinned”. She almost cried. The upside is that a Finn chick is a naif in the art of head games, so you’ll never have to deal with her flirting with other guys in a bar just to make you jealous. Finns are introverted. There is a sly Finnish joke that goes: How can you tell if you’re talking to an extroverted Finn? He looks at your shoes. But don’t mistake this aversion to sociability for weakness. Remember, these are the people who held off a much larger Soviet invading force. And the best sniper in history was this guy. A Finn girl’s introversion hides a surprising strength of character. She won’t tolerate her man walking all over her. Fiercely loyal and commitment-oriented, Finns make fantastic girlfriends. More than other women, Finns appreciate small gestures like spontaneously buying her a rocket pop from an ice cream truck. Finn girls smell fantastic and look ten years younger than their age.